Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Moving Forward When Divorce Strikes

When facing a divorce, the stable ground on which you intended to build your life begins to shiver and quake.  Not being a child of divorce, my marriage was the one thing I thought would not change, never be in question and would be the predictable thread in this changing world.  It was not so.

When I finally realized that my life was never going to be the same, it freed me to move forward.  For so long I grieved what I imagined that I had (but did not).  I longed for things to be the way I had imagined and wanted.  Not until I acknowledged that it wasn't ever that way to begin with did I open myself to the possibilty of another future. 
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Life is going to be different from my plan.  Yours will, too.  But really, life never goes according to a plan, anyhow and I can make a new plan accordingly. 

Different doesn't mean worse.

Different might be better.  In the case of a difficult marriage, it probably will be better.

Different is full of possibilities. 

Divorce and disappointement aren't things you get over.  We must learn to work though all the gory details of our lives falling apart, and then the hard work of putting it back together.  The very exciting part is that you have more control and experience to put back into life exactly what you truly want.