Wednesday, October 26, 2011

One Year Later

It's been one year since my marriage officially ended.  On this day last year, I went before a judge and swore that I wanted the marriage to end.  That was a difficult thing to do, a hard thing to admit. Then I went to the mountains alone and journaled.  I removed things from my home that felt like lies: cards, notes, even some photos.  And I packed up all the wedding memories in a plastic tote to preserve for the children someday.  Those tasks were a bit loaded with emotion, but as I purged my space I also purged my heart.  The day of my divorce was the day I stopped living in the past, repeating the same patterns and began looking for a different future.  It was the most uncertain thing I have ever done in my whole entire life.  

Today, I feel thankfulness for the ways God has been faithful.  Every time I was at the end of my rope, He provided or made a way through the difficulty.  He has given me hope for a future, joy in the present and purpose all around me.  When you are feeling at your worst, never forget that feeling will change.  We never know what amazing gifts are ready to be dropped in our lap at just the right time.  Today I am at peace.