Discovery Day. Dooms Day. Disaster Day. It's got many titles but in the world of the betrayed, almost everyone has a D-Day. For some, the discovery comes in bits and pieces, unfolding into truth. For me it was like a broken dam, exploding all over my seemingly ordered world. It's been three years since what I describe as my first D-Day and there are several things I learned through the difficult times:
- Do not make any major life decisions in the middle of emotional chaos. There is no reason to rush.
- The way you feel today is not the way you will feel forever.
- Make time to think. You need the emotional space to process what you have learned. Even if it has been going on for a while, this new reality needs time to be accepted. Be cautious not to be so 'busy' that you avoid dealing with the trauma.
- Find a way to take care of yourself. Walking, long baths, books of recovery and time with encouraging friends. You will be enough for all that you must do.
- More than any other time, take care to feed your faith. Do not abandon the principles of scripture when you will need them most. If you have never studied the Bible, do so now. Start in Psalms or Proverbs to remember that others have survived betrayal and hurt, glean the wisdom necessary for rebuilding. You do not have to survive this alone.
- Choose to act, not react. Remember to be a woman of dignity, even when you find yourself part of very undignified circumstances. You can be proud of how you handle this terrible season.
- Activate a support system - find those who can help you practically with meals, childcare, therapy, prayer, whatever it is you need now. This is the time to relinquish caring for others and let others care for you.