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Monday, June 13, 2011

D-Day


Discovery Day.  Dooms Day.  Disaster Day.  It's got many titles but in the world of the betrayed, almost everyone has a D-Day.  For some, the discovery comes in bits and pieces, unfolding into truth.  For me it was like a broken dam, exploding all over my seemingly ordered world.  It's been three years since what I describe as my first D-Day and there are several things I learned through the difficult times:
  • Do not make any major life decisions in the middle of emotional chaos.  There is no reason to rush.
  • The way you feel today is not the way you will feel forever.
  • Make time to think.  You need the emotional space to process what you have learned.  Even if it has been going on for a while, this new reality needs time to be accepted.  Be cautious not to be so 'busy' that you avoid dealing with the trauma.
  • Find a way to take care of yourself.  Walking, long baths, books of recovery and time with encouraging friends.  You will be enough for all that you must do.
  • More than any other time, take care to feed your faith.  Do not abandon the principles of scripture when you will need them most.  If you have never studied the Bible, do so now.  Start in Psalms or Proverbs to remember that others have survived betrayal and hurt, glean the wisdom necessary for rebuilding.  You do not have to survive this alone.
  • Choose to act, not react.  Remember to be a woman of dignity, even when you find yourself part of very undignified circumstances.  You can be proud of how you handle this terrible season.
  • Activate a support system - find those who can help you practically with meals, childcare, therapy, prayer, whatever it is you need now.  This is the time to relinquish caring for others and let others care for you.
I'm so sorry if you've recently experienced a D-Day.  It will shift your life so very much, but someday you will be able to see this shift as the time your reality began to move from darkness to light.  Knowledge of betrayal  happens only after the fact of betrayal.  Information is power and that knowledge can be used to create the life you really always wanted.  The horror of D-Day allows for the freedom from the bondage of betrayal.

 
My D-day was almost exactly three years ago.  I can hardly believe how my life has changed in that time!  Have you experienced a D-day?  How has your life changed?