Let's Talk About Income

Dave Ramsey says our most powerful wealth-building tool is our income.  My opinion is that my most powerful wealth building tool is my ability to connect with others, because to me - relationships are what make a rich life.  But, I understand that financially, income matters. 

Mothers all know that time is precious and that each moment spent earning a dollar is usually a moment spent away from our little ones.  So it behooves us to maximize our income during the hours we choose to work.  I describe my current work schedule as having "Mommy Hours," and I feel incredibly lucky to have some flexibility.  I get paid hourly, but get to be home after school.

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When paid hourly, every time you are unable to work, you are losing income.  Sick days (for me or my children), field trips, vacations, etc. mean less income.  Because such circumstances are simply part of life, I have to plan to miss at least the equivalent of one day each month.  One year, we had a whole week of snow days!  That cut my income by almost 30% that February.  When this happens, just give yourself grace and accept that it will take a little while to catch up.  Whether you pull from an emergency fund or rely on credit, do what you must to keep the lights on, the children fed and the house payment up to date.

In my pre-child days, I earned a healthy salary.  I enjoyed the predictable income and measureable increases.  Today, as an hourly employee, I notice the variables in the workdays each month, sick days and other unpredictable events that affect my paycheck.  At first, I would become fearful and panic when I was missing the chance to work so I had to adjust my expectations: I won't be able to work every hour available.  I purposefully budget assuming there will be missed time each month and then enjoy the 'extra' if it turns out that I'm able to be present the whole time. 

It just another way that you can eliminate stress by allowing yourself to be less than perfect. 

On the other hand, getting paid hourly might mean that you have the freedom to accept a second part time job, free lance work, temporary hire, etc.  Flexible schedules and applicable skills will let you fill in gaps when times demand. 

Maximize your earning potential but give yourself the freedom to live the real life you desire.  Saying yes to more work means saying no to time with your children.  Finding the balance that works for you is crucial.

Do you have any tips for maximizing earning potential?  Does your income vary monthly?  What do you do to prepare for sick days?  I'd love to hear how others survive.

How I learned about money.

Zero Dollar Budgeting.

A Disturbing Update...

I regret to admit the mouse has not left building.  I truly thought one of my children was eating chips in the kitchen last night and was horrified to learn the mouse discovered the sour cream & chive Lays!  This is awful!

Mousketeering is Not For Me

I have an immense love for clear countertops.  Last week I randomly decided that the paper towel holder didn't really need to sit on TOP of the counter, and I placed it under the sink - easily within reach if needed but making more clear space.  Yay!

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Stay Outside Little Mice!

The next morning, I was horrified to see that a critter had shredded much of that paper towel roll and it revealed that there was a mouse in the house.  Horror!  Years ago, in another state, I had a mouse problem...but they never ventured out of the attic.  So I haven't had to deal with this issue on my own.

I handled it the most mature way by donning latex gloves, tossing the (almost new) roll of paper towels, cleaning the under sink area, closing the cabinet doors and pretending I never saw what I knew was true.  Denial.  It haunts me.  I walked away from that cabinet and didn't intend to return.

Two days later, I heard a bit of rustle in a baggie of leftover cereal on the countertop.  That's right, there was something making a sound on the countertop which was no longer clear and clean, but cluttered with school papers and leftovers.  I heard it, but I didn't have time to investigate just then.  Books, bedtime, snuggles and nightlights were calling.  Later, as I was finally getting to the daily clearing of those counters...I was once again confronted with undeniable evidence that there was a mouse in the house.  And she had made several deposits on my unclear counter.  My kitchen counter!

I just knew she was stalking me at night.  She had probably used the shredding of my paper towels to line her nest which was now brimming with eager micelings ready to infiltrate every closet, cabinet, cubby and corner of our house.  I didn't sleep well and the next morning my first second stop was at Target where I purchased Tomcat bricks.  I put out the poison.  Lots of it, all around the kitchen cabinets, counters and floor. 

The children go to their father and I will abandon the kitchen for several days. Mr. Wonderful suggested live traps...I was not amused. 

Update: It took several days, but there has been no mouse sighting in exactly two days.  I no longer hesitate as I open the cabinet doors and I am not afraid to cook in the kitchen.  I'm sorry little mouse mama, my nest is for me and mine - You can build elsewhere!

Moody Monday

My weekend was unexpectedly quiet.  The constant rain kept me mostly indoors and when we ventured out to church, I was interrupted in class to be told I had a sick child.  So back home we went and stayed.  I spent the afternoon playing nurse to my baby and even napping with him.  He was miserable but I did my best to keep him comfortable...and he got to watch unlimited movies!

Now, I'm hoping against hope that the others stay virus-free!  Me, too.

Before the sickness set in, I was able to spend some relaxing time with Mr. Wonderful and his girls.  We enjoy a Saturday lunch tradition of Tex-Mex ... it's just fun! 

I caught up on home cleaning and some organization, which was nice.  It always feels good to start the week off from a good place. 

Have I shared that Mr. Wonderful is a high school soccer coach?  He is down to one last game of the regular season and then the district tournament.  I so enjoy watching him lead the team and am proud to cheer wildly for them to score.  My children love to go to games and feel like a big part of the action since they know the coach.  It's a great experience all around.

Except, I know it is a huge time consumer for Mr. Wonderful.  Coaching is a second full time job during the season and mentally very draining.  For his sake, I'm thankful that a break is coming.  I know he'll be able to take a deep breath and rest. 

The next big event on our calendar will be a wedding in July!  We're all excited!

Build 'Em Up - Friendships

A Sacred Vow to Friendship

There are pulls in every direction as a woman, mother and especially in the role of single motherhood.  We truly cannot do it all and sometimes have to let go of all but the essentials in our daily lives.  It's easy to think that friendships are one the things we just have to sacrifice. I have found the complete opposite to be true!  It is my friends that I have most needed when I had sick children, overwhelmed Mommy and a to do list longer than the hours in the day.  When my soul is empty and my body weary, the women in my life have surrounded me to propel me into a better day.  There are some who are friends for life and others who are friends for a season - often we don't know when we meet one how important they will become.

Like most things in life, you don't have to be perfect to be a good friend.

Affectionately labeled in group form, the College Girls are by lifelong besties.  College life has a way of bonding friends and we do share so many great memories.  The first few years after school, we saw each other at weddings and when traveling through one another's towns, but we drifted.  There was no intention  to keeping our friendships close.  Then we scheduled an official reunion - all of us together again!  It was so fun and so wonderful that we pledged to keep it up. Now we have an annual girls weekend.  We share prayer requests and news via email and Facebook.  We even have health kick challenges where we 'weigh-in.'  We have walked each other through weddings, babies, divorces, hurts and celebrations.  There is nothing like being known and loved well.  These are the friends who don't live close, but remain close in my heart.



From our 2012 Get Together - the College Girls!

There is no camaraderie so close as the clique of Motherhood.  Sharing birth stories, toddler tantrums, homework secrets and laundry woes is a whole 'nother kind of bonding.  Some of my Mom-friends are people I may not have connected with in different season of life, but the trenches of motherhood bring us together.  I learn from them and lean on them when I can.  We car pool each others' children, we price for a joint garage sale, we compare homework tips.  These are the women with whom I do life.

When my van died as I drove my firstborn home from his tonsillectomy, both of us in tears.  I needed the friend who came to get us and the other friend who had my van towed for repair.  When I couldn't make it to the school pick up line in time, I called my friend who was already in line to pick up her own.  When I had to move, I needed the friends who gathered around me as I grieved the rooms and packed the space...then came for appetizers and desserts at the new house.  I am always thrilled when I get asked to return the favor.

I need others.  You do to.  But for people to be available, we must foster and nourish the relationships in an ongoing fashion.  It's worth it to take the time and energy to invest in friendship.  Here are some fun ways:

• Use social media - especially for the long distance friends & family.
• Notice who is at church, school, parks and grocery store - your path is crossing the path of others.
• Schedule something fun - I have a group that loves to go out to eat.  It only happens every couple of months, but our 'dinners' usually last four hours!
• Share a play date by getting together with the mother of your children's friends.
• Look for someone who needs help and offer to babysit, pick something up at the store or car pool.

We know there are so many benefits, so even though it takes some extra effort - it's worth it to invest in friendships.  Life is more livable when shared.  How do you stay connected?  Do you think it is more difficult to make friends these days?  

I'm Linking up with Kelly Here.

Moody Monday

It's been an extremely busy season.  So I treasured this unusually slow weekend even more.  I was able to sleep, go to a movie, read, dine without rushing, exercise and worship with my favorite people.  One of the best moments was a nap with my firstborn.

The worst moment was when I learned my grandfather passed away.  But even this was peaceful.  He was in his nineties and sleeping as he moved from this life to the next.  I imagine he wouldn't choose to come back.

I'm loving the wonderful spring weather - cool mornings and warm afternoons.  I miss gardening this year, but do have some flowers planted in pots.  Mr. Wonderful and I discuss how we'll spruce up his patio next year - there isn't much of a yard, but there are several places just perfect for flower beds.

I love Mr. Wonderful with everything in me.  I never believed in soul mates or finding, "the one."  I wonder if I was wrong?  We were meant to be together, truly.

I have a wedding dress, caterer, photographer.  My dearest friends have plane tickets.  The wedding is less than three months away.  I already feel married in my heart.

My heart is full, busy and content this morning.  I would much rather be hiking than working, but I'm grateful for this life.  What would you rather be doing than what you must?

Zero Dollar Budgeting

Because I'm a detail person, I sort of fell into accounting as a job description.  But it has been out of sheer necessity that I've learned to budget.  I lived on my own before marriage and did a great job of managing my single girl income.  My goal was to pay off college debt in two years - I did so with two months to spare.  Yay.  Through our marriage we incurred debt and paid it off and the balance seemed to rise and fall fairly predictably.  We rarely did without what we wanted but sometimes had to pay back because we didn't save first.  However, money was rarely a source of conflict.  I was the one who managed the day to day accounts.

In 2008, I found myself as the only adult managing a home (with mortgage) and three young children.  I was working 12 hours per week and did receive support from the father of my children.  An anonymous angel gave me $1,500 cash and that was the extent of my resources.  I had reason to panic.  Before the shock even wore off, I knew I had to get a gameplan.

First: Assess the situation - be brutal.  I couldn't minimize the seriousness of our needs and I knew I didn't want to move in with my parents.  That is a wonderful solution for many, but it wasn't going to work for us for a variety of reasons.  So, I quickly realized that we needed short term assistance, I had to cut our living expenses as much as possible, and I needed to earn more money.

I applied for state healthcare assistance, and was approved.  I received nutrition assistance from the state. We cancelled all additional services such as cable, cell phone, even the trash pick up.  This was a humbling experience - yet it was also empowering to take control of the situation instead of just waiting to see what would happen next.

I approached my existing employer and said that I needed more hours or would need to find another job.  I'm blessed that I was able to more than double my working hours.  I would have enough income to survive month-to-month covering our immediate needs.  I was scared, but I had peace and committed to tithing on the income.

Zero dollar budgeting for me, meant that when I got paid at the beginning of each month, I had a plan for every penny.  I spent on paper what I planned for the month and there was zero left at the bottom line.  Literally.  I changed the thermostat to save electricity and trimmed every single place possible. 

Have you ever brutally assessed your financial situation and let go of things you once considered necessities?